| I am sometimes exceptionally weak minded, and sometimes I am exceptionally strong minded, but most often I don't know what mind is thinking or feeling at all. It's been months since my last post, which is in itself a disaster, but a disaster which I will be attempting to rectify in the upcoming days. So much for every day blogging, huh? Pathetic. Half of the things written in the list, (which I uploaded in the last post) remained unfinished. My marks are bad, (except world history and polisci) but frankly I find myself caring very little. Maybe I am wrong. Had an interesting conversation with AL recently about expectations. She didn't talk about conforming to the expectations of others, but she might as well have done so. Example in case is this, if you wish to become a writer or a publisher, this should be kept as a hobby or left until a later point in time when you may brag financial security, so that when you do realize your wish there is little risk of ultimate failure, and if everything does fall through you still have your daytime job. Until then, you should finish your Commerce degree, (rather than Literature or Journalism or Publishing) and bide your time, meanwhile undertaking a job which payes well, is secure and meaningful, but does not necessarily have anything to do with what you, as an individual, may actually desire out of life. Argument: "Nobody ever WANTS, to go into commerce. But then again everyone HAS to, because of an infinite number of reasons. First of all, your parents expect you to become successful. they expect you to earn a lot of money, to be accomplished, to have a respectable situation. And, of course, you need money in order to get you that which makes you HAPPY. Happiness, essentially lies in financial security and balance between expectations of other people and expectations that you have of yourself." This underline of her essential argument may have made AL either furious or pleased, due to the fact that she is truly one of the most intelligent and simply brilliant individuals that I have met. But to me, this is what her argument comes down to, and to me, it seems essentially flawed. This has a lot to do, in mind, with RELATIVITY, but I will talk about that later, maybe even later today. Out of this example arise two questions. Question number one: Then again, if you put financial security and expectations(of your parents, the world) before your dreams, isn't that then what you truly 'desire' out of your existence? And in the end, will your dream truly be accomplished after you have gone through the process of completing your Commerce degree and submitting to this balance of expectations? And finally (this is a third question, but I will be allowed to cheat this once) if one does in the end accomplish their dream after the long detour, will the giant loop in one's life (that lies in commerce) be worth it? Questions that I ask myself are, 'What do my parents expect of me?', 'Does Happiness lie in Success?', 'Am I doing the Right thing?', 'Will I ever find Happiness?' ~~MM |
Was a little drama today regarding seating arrangements. It's resolved and peachy, because I get stuck with SL + boyfriend and TT + boyfriend, just so that I can feel miserable, but not really because I love them to bits. Apparently the guys are getting the limo. This makes me really glad that I don't have a penis. Do limos fit sixteen people? I guess they do. It costs about $500 or so I hear, and there's ten of them. Honestly, I feel the girls should pitch in (at least a quarter of the price or something, like $20). Meh.
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